I had to work the weekend a few weeks ago and when I work the weekend I see patient that are having problems or are dying, they are usually other nurses patients, so I am not familiar with them. I was scheduled to see a patient that was on our team but not my patient, I new he was a younger patient but had not really paid much attention during our team meetings and did not realize his situation until I went to see him. This patient was in a nursing home because it had gotten too hard to take care of him at home so I went to the nursing home and was talking to the nurse while pulling this patients info up on my computer. When I looked at his info I saw that he was just 33 yrs old, that info hit me kind of hard but I pulled myself together and went to his room. This man had a brain tumor and was in the last days of his life. I went into his room and his mom was sitting at his bedside, his older brother was there also and some other family members. I stood at the end of this mans bed as he lay dying, with his mom sitting by his side and his family gathered, and the thought that came to me was "It could have been worse" (I guess that is a MN/Scandinavian thought process) But as painful as it has been, "It could have been worse" with Jere, his aim could have been off, he could have missed his heart and not died instantly, he could of been lying slowly dying in a room filled with grieving family and friends. I don't know how long this man had been sick, I don't know how long his family had already been grieving his loss. But I stood there knowing that within the next few days, that mother and those family members would have relief, but they would also have immense pain. I would not wish this pain on anyone. So I have come to the conclusion that if Jere had to die, I am thankful that he went quickly and on his own terms and I do believe that as he was pulling that trigger, the angels were gently taking him by the hand to heaven. I love you Jere and miss you so much. Love Mom